A few months ago I sat down with my Mum and sister and we discussed how bereavement is never celebrated properly after the funeral of a person in English society. People are often remembered on occasion amongst people but there is no ritual in place to engage with the dead person. In Bantu society, however, there is a ritual anyone can partake in, in which you remember the dead and honour your ancestors with offerings. My knowledge of Chinese society is small but I understand a similar ritual takes place. In terms of our African ritual, the ritual for the dead is very simple. You simply gather together and place in front of a lit candle food and things like cigars or alcohol which the person would've appreciated. You pray together, thinking about and talking about the person, you then open the offerings, pouring them onto the floor, then clap your hands three times. The next day you take the food to the homeless if possible and that's the end of the ceremony. It might be superstitious but it's actually very cathartic to be able to remember the dead. Plus it's one of the few times you get to do this in the company of other people who remembered them. Bereavement is always hard but to have the opportunity to celebrate lives with other people is worth a lot.
